A Token of Gratitude
by LaurenOD
Summary: Jaded by her time in Amaranthine, Warden-Commander Tabris returns to the road to start a new chapter of her life. However, the choices she made at Drake's Fall will eventually bring the past back to her.
1. Return to the Keep

WARNING! Major spoilers for Origins and Awakening.  
I began writing this after musing over a giant gaping plot hole in the Awakening epilogue.  
DISCLAIMER: Bioware, you own it all, and I love you for it.

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"This will be far enough. Thank you for your trouble."

"Warden-Commander, I believe it is us who should be doing the thanking."

Lorelei gave the merchants a nod of gratitude before climbing down from the wagon, her companions in tow. Fresh from days of battle, they looked more a mismatched band of ruffians than mighty warriors; the tall human in his robes and matted fur, the duo of dwarves encased in heavy steel, and, leading them, a slip of an elf, scarlet hair falling into her pale little face.

The sound of wheels over stone faded as they climbed the path leading to the fortress. Each upward step was a struggle for Lorelei; she had done little but run and fight in the weeks past, and her muscles were beginning to feel the strain. She bore the pain with stubborn indifference, determined to keep a brave face in front of her recruits. Gradually the vast form of Vigil's Keep appeared over the crest of the hill. It was a landscape much changed since the last time they had seen it. The outer walls of the fortress had been smashed inwards, the barricades had crumbled, and as they entered the courtyard they were greeted with a sea of corpses, of darkspawn and men in equal measures.

"Maker's breath," Anders flinched visibly, and Lorelei wondered when such destruction had ceased to shock her.

The surviving troops were already hard at work, clearing the bodies and patching up the ruined stonework as best they could. Such efforts seemed futile in the grey light.

"Warden-Commander? Is that you?" a rough voice called out from the steps of the Keep.

"Voldrik," Lorelei waved as the dwarf came trudging over to greet her. "I am glad to see you."

"You too, Commander," he smiled from behind a mess of beard and dust. "we heard news that Amaranthine was kept."

"Indeed it was," she frowned. "but now I wonder at what cost. I did not realise the onslaught had been so great."

"It could have been worse," Voldrik replied firmly. "and that's a fact. Walls can be rebuilt. Your duty was to the people."

"I am glad you think so, but I worry that not all will be so compassionate in their reasoning."

"I won't lie," he concurred. "some think you should have stayed. But I'd advise you to ignore those people."

"And what of those I left behind?"

Voldrik sighed. "The Dalish is nowhere to be found. That ill-looking Warden was slaughtered, and so was the Howe boy. I'm sorry."

"Sad tidings indeed. I am glad, though, that Nathaniel died fighting our cause instead of his father's. He was a good man. Not like his bastard father."

"We have made funeral preparations," Voldrik said. "do you have any other orders for the men?"

"Tell them to get some rest. The horde has been driven back, and we need not lose anyone to exhaustion. We can all resume our duties tomorrow. I must get some sleep. We all must."

"As you wish, Commander," Voldrik nodded. "We're still not sure how much of the Keep is stable. There are tents around back. The Seneschal is waiting there for you."

"Thank you, Voldrik. Oh, what of your brother?" she called.

The dwarf shook his head. "I'll let him give you his account himself. If you're tired I wouldn't suggest asking him any time soon."

Lorelei smiled for the first time in days before departing towards her tent.

With the weight of fatigue and injury pressing down upon her, Lorelei could do nothing but nod dumbly as Varel took her over the details of the battle. After a while he noticed her despondence and sent her and the others to bed, insisting that they would continue when she felt well.

But when she laid down on her bedroll the tiredness in her limbs did not manifest itself in sleep. Instead she laid prostrate in the dark, eyes wide and staring into the blackness. The acrid smell of the Children still clung to her.

She felt warm, soft fur rubbing against her face. Rolling over onto her side, she reached out a hand to scratch the kitten behind the ears.

"You've been through a lot, haven't you my darling?" she sat the kitten on her stomach, where it curled up and purred contentedly.

"Sir Pounce-a-lot?" she heard Anders' voice approaching her. There came a noise of stumbling and a whispered cuss, before a soft light sparked up and illuminated the mage's face.

"Evening," Lorelei yawned.

"I didn't wake you did I?" holding his staff ahead of him, Anders picked his way across the tent and crouched beside her.

"No, no," she shook her head slowly. "I couldn't sleep."

"Me neither," Anders reached over and stroked the kitten's downy back . "Maker, I can't believe it's over."

"It's not over," Lorelei said sternly. "It's never really over. We can't afford to be complacent."

"It's over for now?" Anders hazarded. "I'm sorry, Commander."

"Please don't call me that. And sit down for Maker's sake."

Anders obligingly sat next to Lorelei. Groping in the dim light, she pulled at his arm until he was laid down beside her. He began to pet the kitten absent-mindedly, his fingers occasionally grazing her stomach.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Shaken, but I'm alright," he propped his head up in his free hand.

"And the others?"

"Sigrun's been… a little quiet," he frowned.

"I thought as much. I need to speak with her. And Oghren?"

"Same as ever," Anders grimaced. "he's been trying to sniff out a drink since we left Drake's Fall."

Lorelei laughed in spite of herself.

"You're fond of that oaf aren't you?"

"Indeed I am," she smiled. "we go back a long time. He was there when the Archdemon was slain, you know."

"I thought that was just one of his drunken yarns."

"No, for once he was telling you the truth," Lorelei closed her heavy eyes. "Anders, you should have known me then."

"You cannot be too different, surely?" Lorelei felt his hand close over hers.

"I wish that were so. But it was a different time. There was no politics, no power. We would slaughter darkspawn by day and sleep in the wilds at night. Every day there was some new struggle, some new evil to face."

"If that was so then why are you smiling?"

"Because they were better times," Lorelei bit hard on her lip. "those nights in camp… I have never been happier. I'd sit by the fire for hours. Leliana was always cooking some strange Orlesian dish… the air would be ripe with the smell of herbs and wood smoke. I could stay up into the night talking to Wynne, or listening to Zevran's tales of Antiva… I was better then, too. When I was conscripted I was nothing but a feral scrapper from the Alienage. They took me to meet the king with bare feet and dirt still under my fingernails. I found a new home, and a new family. I was Lorelei then, Anders. Not Warden-Commander, not Arlessa, just Lorelei. I spent my whole life surrounded by high walls. Now I'm right back where I started. I'm cold, and I'm not myself."

"You're perfect," Anders bent his head to kiss her, but she turned away from him, shaking her head.

"No. No, I'm sorry. Not yet. I'm still not ready."

"Alright," he brought her hand towards his mouth and pressed his lips against it gently.

"I need to get some rest," she mumbled.

Wordlessly, they curled up like children and closed their eyes, as they had been doing for weeks. Lorelei stayed listening to Anders' steady breathing long after he had fallen asleep.

The next morning Lorelei was woken by light filtering through the thin cloth of the tent. This was something she had never managed to become accustomed to; the Alienage was often shadowed even during the day, and when it was not dark she could not sleep. Reluctantly, she forced her eyes open and rolled over. Anders was still slumbering next to her, his eyelids twitching sporadically. She watched him with curiosity. Ever since her short time awake in the Fade, she had wondered of Mage's dreams, and whether they faced similar trials nightly. 'Although,' she thought, a frown crossing her face. 'his dreams could be of the taint.'

She pushed a stray lock of hair out of his restless eyes. Had she been right to conscript him? She had saved him from the Templars' pursuit, certainly, but she had forced him away from a life which he seemed contented with. _I tried so hard to be good._

Carefully she eased herself out from under the dead weight of his arm and stumbled unsteadily outside. It seemed no-one else was awake yet. Feeling her face getting stiff with a week's worth of blood and sweat, she winched a pail of water from the well. It was dusty and littered with debris, but thankfully it seemed blood had not been spilt in it. The last thing the Keep needed now was tainted water. She splashed her face, gasping at the cold. She was drying herself with her sleeve when she spotted Seneschal Varel approaching her.

"Here," he frowned, handing her a towel. "I think this would be more appropriate."

"Thank you," she smiled sheepishly. "old habits die hard."

"Indeed. I suggest you get dressed and meet me in the courtyard. You have a visitor," he strode off towards the front of the Keep. He looked very old, she thought.

Her curiosity piqued, Lorelei washed quickly and changed into the cleanest outfit she could find before trudging out to rejoin Varel. She had assumed that her 'visitor' would be a local landowner, come to give her grief about the darkspawn attack, and was delighted to see instead a tall, familiar figure, standing cross-armed amongst the destruction.

"Teagan!" she cried, rushing over to meet him.

"There you are," the Bann embraced her warmly. The smell of shagreen and dubbin was familiar and comforting.

"What are you doing here?"

"Apologising, my lady," he frowned. "by the time news of the attack reached Rainesfere it was too late to send help. Know that I would have, if it had been possible."

"Oh Teagan," she laughed. "you can be ridiculous sometimes. We barely had time to send our own troops, I hardly expected you to assist."

"But my lady-" he pleaded.

"Shh," she held out a finger to silence him. "no more of this talk. If you insist on forgiveness I grant it, but there are more pressing matters at hand, breakfast being the first."

"Very well," he smiled and offered Lorelei his arm, which she gratefully accepted.

As they strolled through the grounds of the Keep, Lorelei realised how thankful she was to see Teagan. After the Archdemon had been slain, she had spent several weeks recuperating at Arl Eamon's estate in Denerim. The Arl, still insulted at her decision to champion Anora at the Landsmeet, had little contact with her, choosing to mourn Alistair's death alone. During this time Teagan had looked after her well, and she had come to care for him a great deal. His unwavering earnestness was touching, and even his peculiar formality became endearing to her in time.

Varel met them by the Keep's east wall, the remaining soldiers gathered behind him. Some of them stood to attention when they saw her approaching, but many ignored the courtesy, shooting her hateful glances under their helmets.

"Commander," Varel bowed. "what are your orders?"

She hesitated, glancing at the resentful troops listening to her intently.

"First all need to be fed. Then we must continue cleaning up this mess. Speak to Voldrik about the state of the stonework," she swallowed. "If- any of you- feel you have questions for me, I will be available all day. Please do not hesitate to seek me out. That will be all."

Not waiting for Varel to reply, she stepped swiftly past the crowd, pulling Teagan behind her. By the time she reached the tent her companions were awake and tucking into the food that had been prepared for them.

"Teagan," Lorelei said. "I believe you've already met-"

"You owe me a sovereign you bastard!" Oghren cried, casting down his breakfast.

"Good to see you again," Teagan smiled. "I see you haven't forgotten me."

"I wouldn't forget a three legged nug if it owed me a sovereign," the dwarf wiped his mouth on his arm.

"I'm sure," Lorelei smiled. "nevertheless, we have more pressing matters to attend to. Anders, Sigrun, this Bann Teagan Guerrin of Rainesfere."

"How do you do?" Anders shook Teagan's hand enthusiastically.

"Anders is a very talented mage- and infamous apostate- although I think he'd prefer me to refer to him as our new Grey Warden."

"Oh no, no," Anders smiled. "Apostate is fine. You know, I think I stayed in Rainesfere once, the second time I escaped from the Circle. Nice place. Bit drizzly though."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, ser," Sigrun had stepped forward and bowed deeply to Teagan, who looked a little taken aback by the display.

"Sigrun was a member of the Legion of the Dead, fighting the darkspawn in Kal'Hirol. We hope she can undertake her Joining soon."

"An honour to meet you both," Teagan said. "but if I may, I need to borrow your commander for a moment."

While the others returned to their meal, Teagan steered Lorelei into a quiet corner away from prying ears.

"When are you coming home?" he asked.

"Home?" she frowned. "This is my home, isn't it?"

"Is it?" he asked. "Denerim is your home, Lorelei, you know that. I can see you're unhappy here. If you don't mind me saying, you don't look well."

"Well I did just drive back a horde."

"I saw you after the last time you did that and you looked a damn sight better than this."

"How I feel is irrelevant. I have been posted here, it is here I must stay."

"I don't think that has to be the case. You're a fine warrior, Lorelei, and you'll be wasted here. You need to go out into the world again. I'm sure Weisshaupt would not oppose it."

Lorelei considered this. "Perhaps you're right."

"I think I am. Regardless, you are needed back in Denerim as soon as you can spare yourself. Anora requires your counsel, and more importantly, I believe you will think, so does Shianni."

"Shianni? What is wrong?" Lorelei asked sharply.

"Nothing so severe. There has been… tension between her and the Queen, tension I believe you are in a position to resolve. And also," he smiled. "your presence has been very much missed in the south. You would do well to drop by Redcliffe, if you can make the time."

"Uh," Lorelei rested her head on the Bann's chest, and he cradled the back of her head in his hand. "you can't know how happy I am you are here."

"You are too kind, my lady."

"Very well then," she pulled away from him. "I must stay in Amaranthine for now- at least a fortnight, I should think- but I will travel to Denerim as soon I can. Will you wait there for me?"

"Of course. I'll keep a fire in the hearth for you. Will you be bringing your friends?"

"If they will consent to join me and you will consent to take them, yes, I believe so."

"Excellent. Then I shall stay here tonight and travel south in the morning."

He took his leave of her. Lorelei stayed standing in the centre of the tent with a fresh smile on her face. Images flashed through her mind; of taking to the road once more, of travelling through Ferelden and beyond, of heading back into the fray. She craved the adventure. An itinerary was already forming in her head; she could go to the Dales, the old homeland, through Orlais to see all the wondrous things Leliana had spoken of, to finally visit Weisshaupt. Her pulse raced at the mere thought. Turning on her heel, she strode off to begin preparations.

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Hope you enjoyed it, please R&R, more chapters burgeoning...


	2. Departure

Short chapter, ever so slightly fluffy but hoping it'll work as a segway. Enjoy.

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"We will be sorry to see you go, Commander."

"Thank you, Seneschal. For all you have done," Lorelei shook Varel's hand warmly.

The rebuilding of Vigil's Keep was progressing marvellously under Voldrik's guidance. King Harrowmont had sent smiths from Orzammar who due to arrive shortly in Amaranthine, and the city itself was gradually stabilising, with Constable Aidan set to take charge in the new Arlessa's absence.

Lorelei was waiting by the front gate of the Keep, the few possessions she deemed necessary already packed. She stood resplendent in dragonwing and furs, Fang sheathed by her side, her crimson hair braided for travel. In the weeks since Teagan's visit the colour had returned to her cheeks, and the glint once-so ever present in her eyes had flared up again for the first time since leaving Denerim. The residents of the Keep, who had thought they knew their Commander well, were astonished by the change in her. All of a sudden she was bright and vital, a far cry from the resolute but jaded girl who had come to lead them so many months ago.

Oghren trudged over to her, unwashed and grumbling, a bottle of whiskey tucked under his stout arm.

"Where are your things?" Lorelei asked.

"What things? These are my things," he grunted.

"I see. Very practical. Where are the others?"

Oghren rolled his eyes. "Sigrun isn't coming."

"What did you do?" she frowned.

"It wasn't my sodding fault!"

"Are you sure?"

"No, it wasn't," Lorelei turned to see Sigrun standing behind her, her dark head bowed. "I am choosing not to come."

"But why?" Lorelei said gently. "There is so much still for you to see, Sigrun. You have yet to take your Joining…"

"This is not my calling," she shook her head sadly. "I am sorry, Commander."

Lorelei sighed. "I am sad to see you go. I wish you the best of luck, my friend."

Sigrun bowed and left for the fortress. Ever since their encounter with the Architect, the scout had been changed. Never before had one of Lorelei's decisions so disheartened a follower, and although this saddened her deeply she knew that second-guessing herself was not a luxury that she could afford.

"There never was a path that did not fork," she said to herself. "Oghren, where's Anders? I want to set off."

"He's still in the tent. Still haven't rolled the mage's oats, huh?"

"Excuse me?" she pulled Fang an inch from its hilt and raised an eyebrow at him.

"That trick won't work with me," he sneered. "Oghren knows. It's driving him crazy, you know. He's getting all twitchy…"

"I'm not going to condescend to have this conversation with you," Lorelei marched away from him, feeling her cheeks flushing.

Much as she hated to admit it, the dwarf was right. When she had first encountered Anders- standing over half a dozen darkspawn corpses, it had to be said- she had felt that familiar, fatal tug in her stomach, one she had not felt for years. Not since Ostagar. His blithe manner had lifted her broken spirits a little, a feat which until then she had thought impossible. But much as she wanted to move on and let herself feel happiness again, in her heart she knew that she still belonged to Alistair. When the mage had begun to make advances towards her she had frozen, become unpredictable and erratic. Carnally she craved him, this much was certain, but every time she felt her defences slipping, even for a moment, guilt overwhelmed her and she would go without speaking to him for days at a time. But recently his approach had changed. He had become tender, even shy, around her, until it was clear that his desires were no longer confined to the physical. She had softened a little then, but still she would let him do nothing but hold her, every night hoping she would wake up ready to take the next step. But each morning she felt the familiar pangs of shame, and could not bring herself to make the first crack in her shell.

When she found Anders he was stooped over his pack in the now-empty tent, tussling with his beloved tabby.

"Anders, what _are_ you doing? If you don't hurry up we'll have to sleep on the beach. There are pirates on the beach. They'll kill you and steal all your ridiculous jewellery."

"And what about you?" he asked, still struggling with the kitten. "Won't they kill you too?"

"No. I'll be helping them, in vengeance for you not getting a bloody move on. Will you stop playing with the blasted cat!"

"Don't listen to her," he said earnestly to Sir Pounce-a-lot.

The cat meowed in response.

"He won't get in my pack," Anders said, this time directed at Lorelei.

"Then just shove him in your pocket or something, please, I don't want to keep Teagan waiting."

"Alright, alright," Anders put the kitten down and brushed the dust off his robes. When he turned to look at Lorelei properly he started a little. It had been a long time since she had made an effort to groom herself- indeed, this may have been the first time he had seen her not covered in blood or dirt.

"Maker… You look… fantastic," he breathed.

"Yes. Now maybe when people meet us they'll realise I'm the woman? That'll make a change," she grinned at him wickedly.

"You're very cold, you are," Anders feigned hurt, tossing his head away from her.

Stepping forward slowly, she closed the narrow gap between them. Reaching a hand up to his face, she gently turned it back towards her until he was looking straight into her eyes. She could feel his jaw trembling under her fingertips.

Determinedly, she shook her head. "Not any more."

Lorelei's lips met his with a swift certainty, and she was thrilled to find that the hesitation she had been expecting was completely absent. Somehow, it felt _right _to have Anders kissing her. There was no guilt in his fingers in her hair, her tongue against his teeth. Delighted by her own confidence, she slid her arm around the mage's back and pulled his body against hers, one leg bent and pressed in between his knees. Anders' initial tenderness made way to urgency, and he drove his mouth fiercely into hers. In amongst the dull pain where his stubble had grazed her skin, Lorelei felt pinpricks of energy sparking off him, tiny shockwaves of magic.

They collapsed onto the sawdust floor, Lorelei landing clumsily on top of him.

"Ow. Ow!" Anders yelped.

"What?" Lorelei said.

"Armour-" he winced.

"Oh Maker, I'm sorry-" Lorelei sprang off him quickly. Having spent the best part of five years encased in metal she often forgot that others were not so well protected. Anders sat up, rubbing his chest where her breastplate had struck him.

"No matter," he sighed, looking up at her and smiling. "I have waited too long for this."

Leaning over to kiss the bare skin of her neck, he reached out and began fumbling with the buckles on her armour. Lorelei grabbed his wrist.

"What do you think you're doing?" she frowned.

"Really?" he raised his eyebrows. "Do I have to explain this?"

"I don't think so," she shook her head. "We're running late enough as it is. No, come on."

She stood up and heaved Anders to his feet, once again reminding him how freakishly strong she was for such a tiny thing.

"You've got to be joking. I can't walk now!" he protested.

"Find a way," she said. "and do try and control that feline."

As she strode away from him she could not conceal the involuntary smile on her face. The flush that spread to her cheeks was dizzying, and she returned to the front of the Keep with her arms wrapped around herself in contentment. The shame was finally gone. The prospect of leaving Amaranthine had given her back the vigour she had lost, and with it the passion. Whatever curse was upon her seemed to have been broken.

Oghren gave a low, lecherous chuckle when he saw her.

"What now?" she grimaced.

"I'm not saying nothing," he leered.

Lorelei blushed again and set about straightening her attire. Anders followed shortly after her, hair a mess and dirt on his robes, looking every bit the guilty party.

"Very well. Let us be going," Lorelei said before Oghren had the time to comment.

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Thanks for reading! Please R&R, fingers crossed I'll be able to get on with writing the bulk of the plot soon.


	3. Blisters & Battles

Here's chapter three. As always, BioWare are all powerful and possess all you see before you. Changed to M due to vague gore and upcoming dirty bits, just to be on the safe side

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"Do hurry up!" Lorelei called over her shoulder.

"Not a sodding chance," Oghren grunted. "go on if you want, I'm sleeping here."

He threw himself onto the ground, cuddling up to his oversized bottle like an alcoholic pillow.

"We can cover at least another few miles!" Lorelei protested.

Anders shrugged awkwardly. "For once I'm going to agree with the dwarf. It's been dark for hours. We'll cover very little ground at all if we're eaten by wolves."

"You're both pathetic," Lorelei pulled a disgusted face at the men and began unpacking her bedroll.

They had stopped in a cove just off the road to Denerim. The surrounding trees with their thick trunks and heavy boughs sheltered the party from most of the harsh coastal winds, but sand from the nearby beach had managed to settle in a thin layer over the woodland floor regardless, crunching noisily whenever one of them moved.

She could not deny Anders' point concerning the time; they had been marching since noon, and ever since the sun had dipped under the horizon she had been insisting doggedly that it was late in the year, and if they were at the Keep it would barely be dinnertime. However, the blisters forming on her ankles betrayed a walk of twelve hours or more, and although she would never admit it to the others, Lorelei conceded silently that setting up camp was for the best.

She could not help it though. Denerim was calling her, and oh how she loved that filthy city, wet dog smell and all. She hadn't seen her family in almost two years. Sporadically she received letters to the Keep with tidings from the Alienage, but they were always brief. Shianni was not much of a writer, and her father was nigh-illiterate. The comforts they bore, although present, were small. Lorelei craved more than anything to attend a gathering in the square or run her fingers over the supple bark of the Vhenadahl once more.

Despite spending a year and a half in its constant presence, Lorelei had never been able to fully understand the sound of the Coastlands. The roaring of the sea betrayed a vastness beyond comprehension. Over the last few years the space in which she lived her life had grown vastly, from the few dirty acres of the Alienage to the very borders of Ferelden. Some days she felt she was shrinking, increasingly dwarfed by the expanse of Thedas.

Lorelei shivered, shrugging off her melancholy thoughts. Shifting into a more comfortable position against the sandy ground, she felt a familiar warmth against her back.

"Oh come now," she groaned. "Do you not think the Dwarf is watching?"

"I'm not sure I mind," Anders purred.

"Well that's just worrying," she frowned, batting his hand away from her hipbone.

Anders rolled onto his back. "You're a horrible tease."

"I'm picky. There's a difference," she moved onto her side, stroking her thumb against his neck. "Have patience. At the estate there are four poster beds. With satin sheets. And fireplaces."

"That doesn't sound too shabby," Lorelei saw his lips twitch into a smile by the bare light of the moon.

"It certainly doesn't," she bent her head down and let her mouth melt into his.

"Well boys, looks like we've interrupted something," a harsh voice came from above her.

Lorelei sat up and brushed the sand from her hair.

"She's only a little girl too," the man cackled. "seems a shame, dunnit boys?"

"Maker's sake," Lorelei rolled her eyes. "Anders. Light."

Dutifully Anders groped around for his staff and illuminated the clearing with a flick of his arm. Four humans stood around them, bandit types with shoddy armour and blackened teeth.

"She ain't kitted out too bad, is she?" one of them chuckled.

"Listen," Lorelei sighed and rubbed her temples. "we are Grey Wardens, travelling to Denerim."

There was a chorus of sarcastic 'ooh'-ing from the bandits.

"Yes, thank you," she frowned. "I have been travelling a long while. I am tired, and I am hungry, and I want to go to sleep. So please, do yourselves and myself a favour and scurry along. I quite honestly can't be bothered to kill you tonight."

The humans broke into an ugly bout of hacking laughter. Evidently her gear alone was not sufficient to convince these imbeciles of her prowess. _Their mistake_.

Lorelei unsheathed Fang and lashed out against her nearest adversary in one fluid movement. He let out a bloodcurdling cry and fell to his knees. The remaining three looked up at Lorelei in shock. Sighing, she held up the fallen bandit's thumb in her hand, her face betraying an aching boredom with the whole affair.

"You knife-eared bitch!" the ringleader snarled.

"What did you call me?" Lorelei said quietly, tossing the severed appendage to the floor.

"Knife-eared bitch," he spat.

Lorelei lunged at him, driving Fang into the soft flesh above his collar. Holding his shoulder down, she dragged the blade across his jugular, sending warm blood splattering across her hungry face. The other two bandits threw themselves at her, weapons drawn. Grabbing her shield from near her feet, she slammed its bulk into the first man's chest and turned to charge at the second. Once she had felled him she wheeled around to finish off the last bandit, but her strike came too slowly and he was already upon her, mace aloft and ready to be swung down upon her. Lorelei braced herself for the impact, but a blinding crackle of lightening crippled her assailant before he could move another muscle. He fell slowly to the floor, his body charred and smoking, sending the bitter smell of burning flesh wafting between the trees. Lorelei turned to see Anders standing behind her, his right hand outstretched and trembling.

The thumbless man, who had cowered away from the battle, lay whimpering on the floor, clutching at his stump.

"Get up," Lorelei drove her boot into his side. "_Get up_."

The man got unsteadily to his face, moaning like a wounded animal.

"Leave. Now."

He did not need to be told twice. Stooping to snatch up his belongings, he stumbled away as quickly as pain would allow him. Lorelei stood motionless over the trio of corpses, breathing slowly, hands still clenched around her dagger and shield.

"That last one was mine," she said quietly.

"Lorelei…" Anders said slowly. "they were only bandits. We would have been alright."

"Did you hear what they called me?" Lorelei span around, and Anders was shocked to see tears streaking her bloodied face. In the whole time he had known her, through all the trials they had faced, not once had he seen her shed a tear.

"They were fools," he said softly.

"Oh certainly," she spat. "it is only 'foolish' to say that, is it? I suppose that's how you addressed half the people in the Circle."

"That's not it at all!" he cried. "it's not like that for me, Lorelei. Listen. In Orzammar there are nobles and casteless. Out here there are humans and elves. In the Circle there are mages and Templars, nothing more. I know what it is to be subjugated. Please, do not think me one of them. Please."

She looked into his eyes, dark and imploring, and knew he was not lying to her. Dropping her weaponry, she stepped forward and allowed him to hold her.

"I saved Ferelden for them, Anders," she whispered. "and this is my reward? There are days when I wonder if the loss was worth this."

"You, my darling," he mumbled, gently kissing her bloody forehead. "have provided hope for every single person in this land and beyond. So by all means, cut down those ignorant cretins where you find them, but know the rest of us would be on our knees for you before you could snap your fingers."

"You know," she drew back from him, sniffing. "I never could snap my fingers."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," she pulled off her right gauntlet and made a feeble attempt to click her fingers together.

"Astonishing. You can slay the Archdemon…" he shook his head.

"I know," she sighed, tucking her head beneath his chin. "I am a horrible disappointment to my public. I hope Weisshaupt doesn't get word of this."

She moved gently away from him and sat on her bedroll, setting about cleaning the fresh stains off Fang. All desire to sleep had left her now; the adrenalin coursing through her veins had seen fit to that.

"So," Anders sat down next to her and gingerly wrapped his arm around her waist. "Tell me about the Alienage."

Lorelei laughed once and fished a chamois from her pack. "You don't want to hear it."

"No, I really do," he said sincerely. "You miss it, don't you?"

Lorelei stopped polishing the blade and thought about this.

"No," she shook her head. "But I miss my family."

"Let me guess. Gigantic, man-hating father, homely mother, veritable harem of handsome sisters?"

"No," she pinched his arm. "Quiet father, dead mother, only child, wayward cousins."

"I thought your said your cousin was a Bann?"

"I did," she frowned,

"Ah. I see. I'm sorry about your mother, I didn't know."

"Don't worry," she smiled. "Adaia passed a long time ago. And her death was as she would have wished it."

"Well, at least she went peacefully."

"Who said anything about peacefully? She killed three human guards before they struck her down."

"Right," Anders swallowed, his voice audibly high pitched.

A heavy stirring behind them distracted the couple from their conversation. Oghren sat up and belched loudly.

"Wha- schleet- sodding… hey, what's with all the blood? Or do I not wanna ask…" he slurred.

"How did you manage to get drunk?" Lorelei cried. "You've been asleep!"

"I've got my ways, sister," Oghren laughed dirtily and collapsed on the floor again.

"How is he not dead yet?" Anders asked.

"Maker knows," Lorelei shrugged. "Anyway. Let us get some sleep. The sooner we leave tomorrow, the sooner we can see about those satin sheets…"

* * *

Thank you to all the beautiful people who've been R&Ring so far, I wouldn't keep writing without you so don't stop now- unless of course you'd prefer me to stop.


	4. Homecoming

Wasn't even intending to write another chapter tonight but I got a little caught up in it haha. Enjoy!

* * *

After several more days of travel, the three Grey Wardens arrived at the vast portcullis marking the entrance to Denerim.

"Here we are!" Lorelei grinned at her companions, throwing her arms wide open in reverence.

She watched Anders' eyes pass over the flea-bitten chickens, the decrepit beggars, the conspicuous piles of filth dotted around the streets.

"It's… cosy," he smiled weakly.

"Alright, alright," she shook her head. "I know it's not Orlesian in its extravagance but it's home. There are good things about it…"

"Like the Pearl," Oghren leered. "Can we stop by on our way? C'mon."

"We never went to the Pearl," Lorelei scoffed.

"Correction; you never went to the Pearl. What, did you think I was gonna sit around that musty old estate for weeks waiting for some smug bastards to hold a tea party? Not a sodding chance."

"Your ability to trivialise everything never ceases to amaze me," she sighed.

"Don't even get me started on the fight with the big lizard…"

"Enough," Lorelei slapped him round the back of the head. "We have places to be. Come!"

Lorelei kept a brisk pace as she led them through the city, skipping on every other step like a child on her way to the fair. Occasionally she would point out an interesting landmark, mostly for Anders' benefit, as Oghren had been there many times before and probably wouldn't care anyway.

"See that? Over there? In the distance? That's the Arl of Denerim's estate."

"Where you killed Nathaniel's Dad?"

"That's the one," she nodded enthusiastically. "Tell me; in all your wanderings, how did you never visit the capital? It seems an obvious choice for a roguish young apostate."

"What, you mean the location of the largest Chantry in Ferelden? Birthplace of Andraste and popular pilgrimage spot for the _really_ devoted Templars? Not a clue."

"Alright, point taken," she gave him a sweet-and-sour look before pointing again. "Now that glorious building is the Arl of Redcliffe's estate, where we'll be staying for a while."

Even now, after all her time spent within its walls, Lorelei couldn't help but gaze covetously over the mansion's impressive façade; the great oak door, the perfectly cut battlements, that famous fountain. But it warmed her heart to see the banners proudly unfurled, dark castle over red hill, a symbol she had worn with pride on her back for a long time on her travels.

"If this is where we're staying then why aren't we stopping?" Anders asked, obviously resigned to the fact that he was not going to like his answer.

"Alienage first. Estate later," she smiled, guiltily revelling in his discomfort.

Anders let out a childish whining sound that may or may not have been the word 'satin', but she chose to ignore it and lead onwards through the city.

As she passed through the marketplace Lorelei felt that something was wrong, but she could not quite place it. Everything seemed more or less the same as it had been when she left, but she could not shake the notion that the scene was a little off kilter. Shrugging off the thought, she strode over to the Alienage gates.

"'Ere-" a stocky guard held out a hand to stop here. "Where are your papers?"

"I'm sorry, what?" Lorelei narrowed her eyes at him.

"No elves pass the gates without papers. Them's the rules," he growled.

Without a thought to the consequences Lorelei pulled Fang from its sheath and held it to the human's throat.

"My name is Lorelei Tabris, you ignorant fool, and it is I who helped save you and this whole city from the Blight. If you have an ounce of sense then my friends and I will be passing through this gate without another word from you."

The guard nodded at her, his round face contorted in shame and fear.

"I'm sorry my lady," he spluttered.

"You should be," she hissed, slipping Fang back into its scabbard.

As she entered the courtyard of the Alienage Lorelei broke into a run, scattering the mange-ridden birds that pecked feebly at the barren ground. That had been what was so unsettling about the marketplace. There were no elves. She could have kicked herself for not noticing.

Pausing briefly to lay a kiss on the trunk of the Vhenedahl, she raced over to the door of her father's house without stopping to knock. As she burst inside Cyrion shot up and let out a startled cry.

"Father," she breathed, pushing the hair from her eyes. "It's me. Don't be fearful."

"My little girl…" Cyrion's brow crumpled as he leant in to embrace her. "You came back."

"Of course I did," she sobbed, clinging to her father's thin body for dear life. "I'm only sorry it took me so long."

"Never mind that now. Let me look at you," he gently held his daughter at arm's length. The wrinkles on his face were more pronounced now than when she last saw him, and he looked ill and malnourished. The sight nearly broke her heart.

"Maker," he shook his head, tears welling up in his grey eyes. "You're Adaia."

"Father," she reached out and laid a hand on his bony cheek. "I want to stay longer but I must know what has happened here. Where is Shianni?"

"In Valendrian's house, I believe. Go quickly. There will be time for us to speak more later, Maker willing."

Lorelei embraced her father again and made immediately for the Elder's shack. Shianni was indeed there, sitting across from Valendrian at a low table. They were surrounded by scrolls of vellum, and both their faces were ashen.

"Shianni?" Lorelei called softly.

"Cousin?" she squinted at Lorelei in the dim candlelight. "Cousin!"

Shianni leapt out of her chair and threw herself at Lorelei, almost knocking her over despite the weight of the armour she bore.

"Maker's breath it is good to see you!" she squeezed her arms tighter. "Have you seen Uncle Cyrion yet?"

"Yes," Lorelei nodded. "he told me where to find you. What is going on here? The guard said something about papers-"

"You have missed much, little one," Valendrian smiled sadly at her. "It is good to see you back in these dark times."

"Forgive me, Elder," Lorelei bowed hurriedly. "I forget my manners."

"No matter," he shook his head. "There are more pressing matters at stake than formalities. Please, take a seat."

Not wishing to be so incredibly rude as to point out there were only two chairs, Lorelei, Anders and Oghren took a seat on the edge of Valendrian's bedstead.

"The troubles started just after you left for Amaranthine," Shianni began. "I think someone was waiting for you to get out of the picture before trying anything. Rumours started surfacing about that Tevinter fiasco- someone was feeding it to the shems that we were all diseased, and it was dangerous to associate with us."

"What? Are you serious?" Lorelei asked.

"Deadly," her cousin sighed. "Never mind it had been half a year or more since then. I met with Anora for the last time a week or so ago. She said we would be given 'health checks' and papers to prove we weren't ill. She said beauracracy never failed to put the public's mind to rest. But it didn't work like that."

Shianni bowed her head sadly and Valendrian, seeing it hurt her to relay the tale, continued where she had left off, his low voice forming each word with the utmost care.

"The 'checks' were given and the papers arrived, but not for everyone. Shianni, myself, your father and many others were all excluded. It seemed that those of us who had been in any sort of trouble with humans before had our papers 'tied up' somewhere- and that made most of us. Trade was dwindling before but now it has come to a total standstill. There's nowhere near enough food for us all. If this isn't stopped we'll all starve in a matter of months- or worse, the people will riot. We cannot stand another massacre. It would break the Alienage."

Lorelei held her face in her hands. "Will it never end?"

"No," Shianni shook her head sternly. "and don't feel bad for not being here to stop it, cousin. It would have happened anyway. It would have happened if we had the Archdemon's head mounted on the Vhenedahl. We're city elves. No matter what we do to prove ourselves we remain in the dirt. Always. We just have to make sure no-one treads on our little patch of filth, that's all."

Lorelei tilted her head up a little and smiled. Warden-Commander meant nothing. Arlessa meant nothing. She was viciously proud to be a Grey Warden and held it close to her heart, but it was not the key to her identity. She was an elf, first and foremost, an elf from the slums no less, and damn proud of it too. She may have risen from the ashes like a phoenix but she would rather die than deny the filth that spawned her.

"Very well," Lorelei rose to her feet. "Shianni, you will return to the estate with me tonight. You and Teagan and I will work out how to stop this mess. I will arrange a meeting with Anora first thing tomorrow. I swear, I will not set foot outside of Denerim until this debacle has been well and truly ended. By Adaia, you have my word on that."

"You always were a stubborn little brat," Shianni grinned. "I always told Uncle Cyrion it'd pay off one day. Let's get going."

As they passed back through the gates Lorelei had to steer Shianni by the shoulders to prevent her spitting at the offending guard. She hastily dragged her cousin away, ahead of the others.

"It is good to see you," Lorelei smiled. "_Bann_ Shianni."

"A delight to see you also, _Arlessa_ Lorelei," Shianni bowed deeply, putting on her best noble accent.

Lorelei laughed and hooked her arm through her cousin's. "If you ever changed a jot I think I'd throw myself off Fort Drakon."

"No chance of that then," she glanced behind her. "I remember the pissed-up dwarf but who's the guy in the dress? He's kind of cute."

"That's Anders. He's a mage I picked up at the Keep. Shall I even bother being coy?"

"Nope," Shianni laughed. "But honestly, it's good to see you happy again. I knew you would be. I just wish you could have returned to a warmer welcome."

"Don't worry," Lorelei said. "Teagan will help us sort out this mess."

"Oh Maker, I'm sure of it," Shianni sighed. "he's spent the last week trying to reach me. I've heard him shouting from behind the walls. He's been so good to me since I got that title, cousin. I wouldn't have known a Landsmeet from a bar brawl if it wasn't for him."

Lorelei shrugged. "Actually, there's not much difference."

"He's not so bad looking for a shem, either," Shianni cocked her head a little.

"I'm sorry!" Lorelei laughed. "Do we have a little crush here?"

"Don't be such a pig," Shianni pushed her, but blushed as she did it.

Lorelei closed her eyes for a moment. She was full of fear and anger over what had become of the Alienage, but underlying it was an almost ecstatic bliss. She was home. She had seen her family. She was once again doing something that really mattered. _And soon_, she thought, _there would be satin sheets_.

* * *

Thanks for reading! I keep putting R&R at the end of these and I've only just noticed I don't think there's a rating system. Cheers for not calling me on that haha. Still, as always, I will be as happy as a dog getting a belly scratch if you review. For those of you who care, I think I might finally give Anders some action in chapter five...


	5. Satin Sheets

Sorry it took me a while chaps but here we are. And yes, Anders finally gets some.

* * *

"Ser?" One of the Estate's many servants tentatively stepped into the dining hall. "A message has arrived from court."

"Finally," Teagan sighed and relieved the boy of the letter he carried.

"Still characteristically prompt I see," Lorelei frowned and bit into an apple. She, Teagan and Shianni had been sat in discussion for hours, and Lorelei had spent most of the time since their brief letter had been sent pacing up and down in aggravation. Moving over to Teagan's chair at the head of the table, she leant across to read over his shoulder as he cracked open the burgundy seal.

_Banns and Warden-Commander_, the letter read. _I am sorry to hear that troubles persist in the Alienage. I regret to inform you that I am currently receiving delegates from Orlais and shall be occupied all of this evening. However, I shall schedule a private meeting with you all tomorrow at noon. Yours truly, Queen Arona Mac Tir._

"Unbelievable," Shianni growled, slamming her fist on the arm of her chair.

"Completely believable," Lorelei said.

"Now," Teagan said awkwardly. "We should not be disparaging about our Queen…"

"She's not _here_," Shianni scoffed.

"And I didn't _have _to put her on the throne," Lorelei threw her apple core into the fire angrily "Sovereign or not, she is indebted to me and I will not let her forget it."

Lorelei pulled a leg off one of the roast chickens and tore into it with her teeth. Despite her technical status as a member of the nobility she had never quite gotten to grips with the etiquette, and often wondered if Esmerelle had only wished her assassinated to avoid embarrassment at the next Arling banquet.

"This whole business is getting really tired," Shianni sank into her chair. "There'll only be something else to deal with next week. When are these shems going to get it into their tiny brains that we're not a threat to them? Sorry, Teagan."

"No offence taken, my lady," he bowed his head to her. Lorelei noticed that Teagan was fidgeting conspicuously, crossing and uncrossing his legs and tapping his fingers erratically against the tabletop.

"Something on your mind, Guerrin?" she frowned, taking a seat beside the Bann.

"Well, actually a thought had crossed my mind," he cleared his throat loudly. "a way to reconcile some of the differences between the Alienage and the monarchy…"

"I'm listening," Lorelei said through a mouthful of chicken.

"My proposition- well, proposal really-" Teagan's face was flushed the same crimson shade as his doublet. "Shianni, if you and I were to be, well, conjugally joined, you would have the full support of the Bannorn behind you. There is very little the Queen can enforce without the backing of the Bannorn- Anora would have no choice but to fully acknowledge your legitimacy as a courtier. But it's just a suggestion, probably ridiculous really, I am sorry to have mentioned it-"

"Are you asking me to marry you, Teagan?" Shianni spluttered in laughter.

"I merely suggest it as a political alliance my lady-" Teagan blushed painfully.

"Well," Shianni smiled and raised an eyebrow at him. "If it's _political_… I'm sure I could get used to the idea."

"R-really, my lady?" Teagan stuttered.

"Certainly."

"An excellent idea if I ever heard one. Well, I'm going to bed," Lorelei announced, hopping to her feet and grabbing her pack from where she had slung it on the dining hall floor. "Congratulations, you two."

She flashed a sly wink at Shianni as she departed, leaving her cousin and Teagan grinning foolishly at one another across the table.

Lorelei climbed the stairs to her room slowly, the long days of travel weighing heavily on her shoulders. . She had not experienced the luxury of sleeping in a bed for weeks, and the prospect left her salivating in anticipation. After such a long time living mostly on the road she had managed to cultivate a love of these small pleasures which most took for granted, and appreciated them all the more for their rarity.

When Lorelei reached her chambers she took off her armour, stowed it carefully in the trunk at the foot of her bed, and washed briefly from the bowl of warm water the servants had left on her vanity table. She was already reaching for the door handle when she had an afterthought, deciding to change out of her grubby linens into something a little more appealing. She was not accustomed to making an effort with her appearance, and she felt a little ridiculous tugging on the simple black gown she found hanging in her wardrobe. _What is the point in such things?_ she thought to herself, looking at the result in the mirror. The dress was obviously made for a human woman and hung loosely on her elfin frame, but she decided it would have to do. Ideally it would not be staying on for long anyway.

To her own surprise she hesitated a little before rapping her knuckles on Anders' door. So used was she to being the brash leader that she had forgotten her individual misgivings- her relative inexperience, her lack of femininity, the long stretch of time since she had last known a man. Steeling herself as she would before battle, she knocked three times against the thick wood.

Anders opened the door almost immediately, and she stepped smartly inside the room before greeting him, making sure the lock was secure behind her.

"You've got a Templar's knock, girl," he frowned, obviously disappointed that she had not immediately flung herself at him upon entering.

"Strong wrists," she replied. "It comes from carrying a very large and heavy sword around all day instead of a glorified stick."

"You actually gave me that 'glorified stick' if I recall."

"Only because I didn't want to break your delicate fingers with a real weapon," she sneered, not quite knowing why she was being so vile.

"Oh, someone's a charmer tonight," he glared at her in mock-offence.

"Come now," she smiled, allowing her voice to soften a degree. "you are not usually so easily offended. Humour me with a _little_ sport?"

She stepped in closer to him, letting her fingertips roam lightly over his chest. Anders swallowed slowly. Unable to keep up the pretence of anger for long he gently cupped the back of her pale neck in his hands, and Lorelei let out a little satisfied sigh as he began to trace the whorls of her pointed ears with his thumbs.

"Deeply sorry," he said, pausing to kiss her on both eyelids. "I'm just a little tetchy because I believe these sheets are sateen and not satin as I was so obstinately promised…"

"My sincerest apologies for thwarting your expectations."

"Accepted, of course," languidly he let his hands slide down over her shoulders, bringing them to rest in the dip in the small of her back. "I'll tell you what is a disappointment though… I was hoping to finally have a tussle with that wretched armour of yours."

"And here I was all proud of myself for making the effort to look ladylike. I shouldn't have bothered."

"Trust me," he smiled, pulling her closer until her body was pressed tight against his. "It's very much appreciated."

Lorelei looked up into his face, all stubble and clear lines. She didn't let herself think about the resemblance. But the eyes were different, lighter, the same cool green as the Amaranthine ocean. No, she would focus on them. Before she knew quite what she was doing she had reached up on tiptoe and taken Anders' hair down from its usual ponytail. Combing it out around his face with her fingers she tilted her head to observe the difference.

"Well?" he laughed, seemingly amused by her actions.

"I think I like it," she nodded.

"Well thank the Maker for that."

He leant in and kissed her deeply, with the a hunger of one who has been delayed gratification for a very long time. Not prepared to be outdone she matched his fervour, tugging roughly at his scalp with one hand while the other explored the contours of his back. To her surprise and delight she found that he was very well built, for a mage. All those years of running away from Templars had gifted him with a highly satisfactory figure.

Anders reached down and lifted her up, feathering kisses across her collarbone as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Even with the pounds of muscle she had gained in battle she was still a scrap of a girl and he did so with little effort. As he carried her across the room she buried her face in the hollow of his neck and inhaled deeply, savouring the warm, metallic smell of magic that surrounded him.

He dropped her on the bed rather inelegantly, and there was an awkward moment of apology and adjustment before they returned to each other. As they lay side by side, Lorelei noticed that the hand Anders held against her cheek was trembling.

"What's wrong?" she asked, pulling away from him.

"Nothing's wrong," he shook his head and smiled at her. "I'm just nervous, that's all."

"You? Nervous?" she laughed. "The Circle of Magi's most notorious womanizer? Or did you make up all those tales?"

"Oh no, they're true," he said, stroking her hair. "But all they other women, they weren't… you."

"What's so different about me?" she frowned.

"Well for a start, you scare me. I've never lain with a woman before who was overtly capable of beating me into a pulp."

"Oh darling, stop, you're flattering me," Lorelei said flatly.

"No, no, it's not a bad thing- it's quite exciting actually. And oh, Maker, I don't even want to say it…"

"Say what?"

"You're the first… I think I might actually have… _feelings_ for you," he grimaced.

"Really?" she smiled. "Well I think I might have _feelings_ for you too."

"Well thank goodness for that. I've never been with an elven woman before, either."

"That's because we have notoriously good taste."

"You're too cruel," he sighed.

"Well, I have never been with a mage…" she mused. "It would seem we have much to teach one another."

"Then let us not waste any more time."

He reached over and pulled her on top of him. With hands still shaking, he eased her gown up over her thighs and dug his fingers into the soft flesh of her hips as she pulled it over her head and discarded it. As she was then, naked and tiny, with skin ghostly pale and flecked with scars, she could not have looked more different from the fierce, bloodied creature she was on the battlefield.

"I think perhaps I am not so terrifying now?"

Lorelei bent down to kiss him again, a muffled squeak of pleasure escaping her lips as that strange electricity jolted through her once more. She swung her leg back over to free his body, and with deft fingers unhooked the fastenings to Anders' robes. As slowly he exposed himself to her she propped herself up on one elbow and let her eyes linger greedily on his body. She had been told before this voyeurism was unnerving, the look in her eyes not dissimilar to the one she wore when inspecting a kill for spoils. She had failed to see the problem- after all, she took immense pleasure in both.

Grabbing his hips roughly she pressed her mouth against the tanned flat of his stomach, and she was gratified when he responded with a sharp intake of breath. He took her hand in his and tried to guide it between his legs but she resisted him, placing it gently back against his side. Her lips travelled over his chest, broad and flecked with golden hair, up onto the curve of his shoulders, finally coming to rest back against his own mouth, which expelled ragged breaths between kisses.

His hands caressed the tender skin of her side before sliding over to cup the gentle curve of her small breasts. Her muscles tensed as his long fingers, calloused by the elements they expelled, roved over the pink buds of her nipples. There was a look of wonder and concentration in his eyes as he gazed intently at her body, his touch lingering on every raised scar, her souvenirs of battle. Lifting his chin gently with her forefinger, she looked straight back at him, trying to say all she could with her eyes that words would not allow her.

_I cannot give you every part of me, but all there is to give, belongs to you._

He kissed her tenderly, as if to say he understood, and then closed his eyes and tilted his head to envelope her breast in the hot warmth of his mouth. Lorelei yelped with delight as his tongue flicked gently against her nipple, burying her fingers in his hair in encouragement. His right hand strayed southwards over the soft curve of her stomach, and Lorelei spread her legs wider to accommodate his touch. Unhurriedly he stroked his fingertips over the warmth between her thighs, occasionally letting them graze her clitoris, in a manner which Lorelei found both torturous and intensely arousing. She mewled in agitation, bucking her hips towards him furiously, until eventually he relented and slipped two fingers inside her.

Anders removed his mouth from her breast and began to nibble the delicate skin of her neck as he worked his fingers rapidly, his thumb deftly massaging her clitoris.

"Can I be honest with you, Lorelei," he murmured.

"Yes," she gasped, a little detached from what he was saying.

"I didn't think I'd ever get to be here. With you."

"You're here now, my love," she breathed.

He kissed her hungrily, the movement of his fingers increasing as she inched closer to climax. It happened almost before she realised it, the deep spasms of pleasure rippling through her body from the core to the extremities. She cried out, her fingernails scoring red lines in the flesh of his back. As the last twitches of ecstasy passed through her Anders took her face in his hands and kissed the sweat from her forehead. Still dizzy and achingly relaxed, Lorelei looped her arms around his back and nodded for him to enter her.

They both gasped uncontrollably as he eased his full length inside her. Lorelei could only assume that his outcry was in response to the compactness of her elven anatomy- hers was a reaction to the unearthly sensation that overwhelmed her, as if she were halfway between dreams and waking. Why had no-one warned her about these uncanny mage-specific side-effects? She would have converted sooner.

"Well that's… different," she bit hard on her lip.

"Good different?" he asked nervously.

"Wonderful different," her eyes closed leisurely as she arched into him.

Nuzzling his face into the crook of Lorelei's neck, Anders hooked his arms under her knees and began thrusting into her, tickling her throat with the heat from his laboured breath. Lifting her hips to meet his, they relaxed into a blissful rhythm. Her hands explored all the nuances of his body she had hitherto denied herself, the tight musculature of his thighs, the blistered skin of his back, the jutting arches of his hipbones. Even his face looked different to her now.

Silently she cursed herself for denying him so long. Her gut instincts had proved trustworthy so far, and she should never have ignored the one that implored her to possess him. He was everything she had needed for so long, a release from the prison of her own introversion. For months she had convinced herself that he was too facetious, too uninhibited, too impulsive. He would be a danger to her. But in reality the qualities of his that she shirked were the ones she herself had once been notorious for. It was not rationality she was demonstrating but cowardice- fear of destroying the cold exterior she had created to protect herself. But no more. Anders had given himself to her freely, and she would do her best to show him the Lorelei who had once fought her way around Ferelden with such fervent enthusiasm.

Her joyous epiphany must have manifested itself in her movements, for shortly after she made this decision Anders' body began to convulse and he gripped her tighter, crying her name into the velvet pillow. She allowed him to collapse on top of her, cradling the hot weight of his body in her arms. They lay there for a long while, breathing in synchronicity, until their racing heartbeats slowed to a normal pace.

When Lorelei felt her legs going numb she kissed Anders on the golden crown of his forehead and rolled him off her. Tucking her scarlet head under his arm she pulled the coverlet up over them, trying and failing to recollect the last time she felt this peaceful.

"I should report you to Weisshaupt for consorting with a recruit," he murmured softly.

"And deny yourself a repeat performance? You wouldn't," she purred, tracing patterns on his stomach.

"Well, you've got me there," he pulled her in closer, despite the heat. "I know sincerity normally isn't my forte, but that was wonderful. Truly."

Lorelei was about to reply when a bundle of tabby fur jumped on her stomach.

"Maker, has he been here the whole time?" she started.

"Apparently so," Anders laughed, abandoning Lorelei for a moment to scratch Pounce's neck.

"Your cat's a pervert. I feel violated."

"Better him than the dwarf."

"This is true," she nodded.

They relaxed into one another again, and Lorelei resisted the urge to point out how domestic the scene was, in a real bed in a real house, complete with cat.

"I meant to ask, what took you so long coming up here? I'd almost given up hope. I was about to go and see if they had a copy of the Rose of Orlais in the library."

"Oh, I forgot to mention," she yawned, rubbing the kitten's belly. "Teagan and Shianni are to be married?"

"Really? Can that happen? I mean… an elf and…" he asked awkwardly.

"Oh yes. Shianni's brother Soris married a human girl up in Highever-" she paused uneasily. "My word. It does seem to run in the family, doesn't it?"

"Doesn't it just?" he smiled.

"But anyway-" she continued hurriedly. "We must get some sleep. We are to meet with the Queen tomorrow. If you think I'm a bitch just wait til you meet her…"

* * *

Hope you all enjoyed, be prepared for lots of boo-hissing for Anora. Reviews are always much-loved :)


	6. Court

Anora Mac Tir, the Queen everyone loves to hate. Boo. Sorry for the double posting but I noticed a bit late I'd typo-ed one of the names repeatedly. I blame Bethesda.

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Lorelei tapped her foot against the flagstones impatiently. The entire morning had been a nightmare, if only because she had insisted on making it so. Firstly she had pointedly refused to dress for court, pulling on her armour without even bothering to polish it, an act with agitated Teagan to severely she thought he might have a heart attack. Then she had insisted that Oghren and Anders accompany them to the palace despite their lack of an invitation, and as a result it had taken an hour to convince the captain of the guard to allow them past the gates.

"I understand your position my lady, but would it not be easier to merely abide by the Queen's orders?" Teagan asked timidly.

"Easier, yes, but that doesn't mean I'm going to do it," she said, picking up an expensive-looking statue to examine it. "I wouldn't bow to Cailan and I bloody won't curtsey to her."

"I see," Teagan flinched.

"Best to ignore her," Shianni smiled at her betrothed. "she's on the warpath. Just keep a safe distance and try not to get blood in your eyes."

Frustrated, Lorelei put the statue down and banged her fist against the door of the throne room.

"Madam!" one of the guards snapped at her. "if you do not desist immediately you and your companions will be removed from the palace. You will be summoned when the Queen is ready for you."

Lorelei made an obscene gesture at the guard which elicited an audible groan from Teagan and a proud smile from Anders. The guard was about to respond when a weaselly man dressed in ridiculous finery came out of the throne room and unrolled a scroll of parchment with an extravagant flourish.

"Our beloved Queen Anora summons to court Warden-Commander Lorelei Tabris, Bann Teagan Guerrin and Bann Shianni Tabris," the man announced nasally. "you may enter when you are ready."

"Alright," Lorelei pushed past the herald and, ignoring his protests, gestured for the others to follow. She stormed inside and marched straight up to the Queen, who sat tall and preened on her gilded throne, flanked by bodyguards and handmaidens.

"Warden-Commander," Anora gave her the coolest of nods.

"What the hell is going on, Anora?" Lorelei barked.

"To what are you referring?" the Queen raised her thin eyebrows.

"I am _referring_ to your continued mistreatment of _my_ people," she stabbed her forefinger viciously against her breastplate.

"I do not know what you mean, Commander. Bann Shianni and I have met and discussed the issues affecting the Alienage and measures have been put in place to resolve them."

"Anora, the papers have not come through," Shianni interjected. "most of us can't leave the Alienage. I've been trying to contact you but no-one will take my letters."

"What?" Anora frowned. Lorelei knew the Queen's mannerisms well enough to know her concern was genuine. "I ordered papers for all Alienage residents on the census to be sent through last week. Did they not arrive?"

"Valendrian and I worked out that maybe one in twenty of us got papers. The rest of us got nothing," Shianni said quietly.

"I assure you all this news comes as a shock to me," Anora shook her head. "I am deeply sorry that such a mistake has been made. I appointed a minister to deal with Alienage affairs- I will call for her now, perhaps she can help us deal with this."

"Wait, you appointed a minister for the Alienage who wasn't _from_ the Alienage?" Shianni asked.

"I prefer to appoint staff with whom I am used to working," Anora sniffed.

"Very astute, Anora," Teagan frowned, his sarcasm towards the monarch causing Lorelei and Shianni to double-take in surprise.

"Edwin?" Anora called to the back of the room. The rodent-faced herald who had ushered the party in scuttled over to the throne and bowed theatrically.

"How can I be of service, your Majesty?" he simpered.

"Fetch Emilia Urien for me."

"As you wish," Edwin slunk away.

"Wait," Lorelei narrowed her eyes. "Urien. Where do I know that name?"

"She was the daughter in law of the late Arl Urien of Denerim," Anora replied curtly.

Lorelei's stomach sank. She turned to Shianni to see if she had made the same connection. It appeared so, for all the colour had drained from her cousin's skin and her hands were shaking terribly.

"Anora," Lorelei began slowly. "was this Emilia by any chance married to Bann Vaughan?"

"Indeed she was," Anora nodded.

"Teagan," Lorelei clenched her fists tightly. "You need to leave."

"My lady-" he began.

"Go, Teagan," Shianni sobbed. The Bann's face was full of concern but he nodded slowly and departed from the room.

The second he was out of the door Lorelei let out an unearthly scream which made even Oghren jump.

"What were you _thinking_?" she cried.

"Calm yourself, Commander!" Anora got to her feet, halting the bodyguards who had reached for their weapons. "What is the meaning of this?"

"You would put Vaughan's widow in charge of our affairs? How could you do such a thing?"

"This is madness, Tabris! I thought that you of all people would think it an appropriate appointment!"

"Why?" Lorelei snarled. "Why on _earth_ would I _ever_ think such a thing?"

"Her husband died for your people and still you will not trust her?"

Lorelei froze. "Excuse me?"

"I heard tell you were there that day," Anora returned to her seat. "I know a human was not an orthodox choice for this position but in light of the circumstances it seemed reasonable."

"Anora," Shianni murmured. "How do you think Vaughan died?"

The Queen frowned. "My father told me he was attending an Alienage wedding when it was attacked by bandits… he gave his life trying to save the bride. Was I misinformed, Commander?"

Shianni let out a strangled cry, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Anders?" Lorelei said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"Yes, my love?" he placed an anxious hand on her trembling shoulder.

"Take this," she thrust Fang into his hand. "Or Maker help me I will use it."

"Commander, I demand an explanation now," Anora said sternly.

"Anora," Lorelei swallowed, trying to keep her voice steady. "I am not going to blame you for this. You have indeed been misinformed. Vaughan was indeed present at that wedding- _my_ wedding- but he died by my hand. With damn good reason."

"What?" Anora's voice, usually so composed and regal, cracked a little. "_You_ murdered Bann Vaughan?"

"If I could follow him into death and kill him again I would."

"Commander I warn you, if your cannot give me a good reason for this you give me no choice but to have you hanged for treason."

Lorelei swallowed. "It is not my place to tell you what happened that day."

"Commander," Anora said slowly. "I implore you to think very carefully about this."

"Wait," Shianni stepped forward. "I can explain."

"Shianni," Lorelei placed a hand on her cousin's shoulder. "You don't have to tell them anything."

Shianni shook her head. "I am not ashamed. What happened that day was no-one's fault but his."

"Alright. If you're sure," Lorelei squeezed Shianni's hand gratefully and nodded for her to continue.

"Vaughan and his lackeys arrived on Lorelei's wedding day and started throwing their weight around. They kidnapped us and the other women and took us back to the estate," Shianni's voice broke as she swallowed back her tears. "He… violated me. He would have hurt the others, too. If Lorelei hadn't killed him. She was protecting us. He was a monster."

Anora was silent for a moment. "I hope for your sake that you are speaking the truth."

Lorelei shrugged. "What reason would we have to lie?"

"Your Majesty," Erwin's whining voice came from the door. "Emilia Urien."

Anora glanced at Lorelei, and she nodded.

"Send her in."

Emilia was a tall, plain woman, with long hair and dark circles under her eyes. She ignored the Queen completely as she entered, instead walking slowly towards Lorelei, her face as cold as steel.

"Warden-Commander Tabris, I believe?" she said, placing bitter emphasis on the surname.

"Indeed," Lorelei replied coolly.

"I believe we are in sincere need of a talk," Anora sighed.

"There is nothing left to talk about!" Emilia cried suddenly, pulling a dagger from her bodice and lunging at Lorelei like a wild animal.

Being unarmed, all Lorelei could do was dive out of the way, falling heavily on the stone floor. Emilia, who had stumbled to the ground as she missed her target, stood up and expelled second yell. However, before she could make another shot at Lorelei Oghren had tackled her, pinning her down until two of the Queen's guards managed to wrest the dagger away from her and bind her hands.

"Elven bitch! You murdered my husband!" Emilia snarled, straining towards her.

"Your husband was not the man you thought he was," Lorelei said sadly, getting unsteadily to her feet.

"You will pay for what you've done!" she sobbed, her body crumpling in defeat.

"Guards, please escort her to the cells," Anora sighed.

They watched as Emilia's hunched form was led away, body still racking with bitter cries. Lorelei could not help but pity the woman- she lost her had her husband, and it seemed that through ignorance or sheer denial she had loved the brute. _Poor fool_.

"That was… unfortunate," Anora said briskly, as if Emilia had merely snubbed them in the marketplace.

"I am going to make a suggestion, Anora, and I advise you accept it if you do not wish me to make things very difficult for you," Lorelei said firmly.

"Go on."

"From now on any matters concerning the Alienage- _any at all_- are dealt with by Shianni and Shianni alone. I supported you at the Landsmeet because I knew you were well equipped to rule Ferelden, and the Alienage is not Ferelden as you know it. Meddle in our affairs again and there will be consequences. Do you understand?"

"I believe so," Anora said acidly, leaning back in her throne. "Go, then. I believe I have heard enough today, Tabris."

"Your Majesty," Lorelei turned on her heel and walked out without so much as a nod in Anora's direction. On her way to the door she punched Oghren lightly on the shoulder.

"Thanks for taking care of that."

"I got your back, Commander, but you owe me one," he winked.

"Are you alright, Shianni?" Lorelei asked quietly.

"I'm fine," she smiled weakly. The tears had stopped and some of the colour had returned to her cheeks. "I wasn't going to let you be hanged, was I?"

"Well, you'd hope not."

Teagan was sitting on the steps outside the throne room with his chin resting on his hands. When he heard the four of them exit he sprang to his feet and dashed over, his face riddled with worry.

"Are you all alright? I saw that woman being escorted out…" he breathed.

"We're fine, Teagan," Lorelei nodded.

They were about to take their leave when Shianni reached out a hand to stop the other Bann.

"Teagan," she said quietly. "how much of that did you hear?"

The Bann hung his head. "I confess, my lady, I listened to your discourse with the Queen. I- I had no idea what trials you had been through. I am truly sorry."

Shianni sighed. "I thought so. Obviously, I understand if you don't want to marry me any more-"

"What?" Teagan spluttered. "Shianni- Maker, no, of _course_ not- if that _appalling _man hurt you there is no reason why you should be punished for it. Believe me, Shianni. It changes how I feel about you not at all."

Lorelei gritted her teeth hard as her cousin and Teagan embraced each other. It would not do for their fearless leader to start blubbing in the palace corridor.

"Need a handkerchief, Commander?" Oghren chuckled.

"Quiet, dwarf," she snapped. "I wouldn't touch your handkerchief with the tip of my sword. Please let's all get out of here now, I can feel my blood turning blue."

The group had almost reached the palace doors when a familiar voice called out behind them.

"Were you going to leave without saying hello?"

"Wynne!" Lorelei laughed gleefully and flung herself into the old woman's arms.

"Maker's breath child, do be careful!" the mage scolded, unable to repress a laugh.

"I'm sorry, it's just so wonderful to see you," Lorelei gushed.

"You too my dear," Wynne smiled. Lorelei observed that she didn't look a day older than when they had met at Ostagar.

"My word," she whispered. "Spirit's still being good to you I see?"

"It would seem it is not ready to leave me yet," she smiled dreamily. "Perhaps there is more work for me to do."

"Did I hear spirits?" Oghren bellowed. "I've got a couple you gotta try…"

"Oh, goodness, Wynne-" Lorelei took the mage's hand in hers. "There is much we need to catch up on. I have missed you so terribly. Please do me the honour of dining at the estate tonight?"

"It would be my pleasure," she nodded. "But I must go now- if I am to make it in time for dinner I have a lot of work to do this afternoon."

"Farewell then," Lorelei waved happily as Wynne retreated inside the palace. After her horrendous meeting with Anora this encounter had lifted her spirits massively. With the exception of Alistair there was no-one she had been closer to during the Blight. The mage was older and wiser than her, but instead of lauding over her she had been considerate and patient, even at times when Lorelei had probably not deserved it. Wynne was not a mother substitute as many of their companions seemed to believe- Lorelei had her own mother to aspire to- but was more like a favourite teacher, who took Lorelei under her wing as a reckless child and helped her blossom into a (slightly less reckless) woman.

They had made it halfway back to the estate when Anders took Lorelei gently by the arm and guided her out of earshot of their companions.

"So…" he said, feigning nonchalance. "Your wedding…"

"Oh, Maker," Lorelei sighed. "I knew there was something I kept meaning to tell you."

"I see."

"Oh don't worry, I'm not married. He's dead. That's all fine."

"Um. Good?" Anders raised his eyebrows.

"Listen, it was an arranged marriage I didn't want in the first place. The wedding never actually took place- all the rape and murder got in the way a bit. I would have rather just told him I wasn't up for it instead of having him die but, there you go, that's the way it happened," she shrugged. "I must sound dreadfully cold."

"No more so than usual. Ow-!" he cried as Lorelei elbowed him in the ribs. "I think I might regret this but here's your sword back."

"Thanks," Lorelei sheathed Fang gratefully, comforted to have the blade by her side again.

"So… anything else you want to tell me? Husbands, concubines, illegitimate children?"

"Not that I can think of," she shook her head. "But seriously, listen, Anders-"

"Am I not going to like this?" he frowned.

"No, don't worry," she slipped her gloved hand into his. "It's just… you've seen very little of me, relatively. I helped end a Blight before I met you, for Maker's sake. I suppose what I'm trying to say is… there will be things I haven't told you about myself. Not because I'm hiding them, just because they haven't come up yet. I had to make some difficult decisions. You need to be prepared to hear about them."

"I escaped from the Tower seven times. _Seven_," he squeezed her hand. "It wasn't easy. I did some things I wasn't proud of too."

"Well, at least we've _both_ got dark, disturbing pasts to unleash on one another. That's a comfort," she smiled up at him.

"Isn't it though?" with a brief glance to check no-one was watching, Anders pulled her quickly into a doorway and kissed her before releasing her hand and catching up with the rest of their party.

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Thanks for reading, review etc. :)


	7. To Remember

I think the only way to describe this chapter is a big fat angst sandwich on very fluffy bread. Apologies, it was dying to get out of my system haha.  
Sorry too for copying the middle dialogue pretty much verbatim but I'm such a sucker for canon and I thought some of you would appreciate the nostalgia factor. So to reclarify: BioWare, please do not sure me, I am not taking credit for that bit.

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For a dinner party hosted by three esteemed members of the nobility, it was hardly a civilised affair.

Lorelei had gotten herself tipsy quite early on in the evening, and perched unabashedly on Anders lap while she chatted nineteen to the dozen with Wynne through a mouthful of wild boar. Teagan was half-listening to her tales whilst fighting a losing battle to control his bride-to-be's intake of Orlesian wine, and Oghren sat apart from the others, apparently playing a drinking game against himself.

"Do you remember-" Lorelei giggled. "-Zevran telling you that you had a 'magical bosom'?"

"Unfortunately I do recall that, yes," Wynne wrinkled her nose as she refilled her goblet.

"Whatever happened to this Zevran anyway?" Anders attempted to prevent his words from slurring and failed.

"Oh, I had to kill him," Lorelei shrugged and half-slid off his lap.

"Oh. As you do," Anders hiccupped, pulling her back up.

"I recognise you," Wynne's brow creased as she pointed at Anders.

"We met outside the Chantry in Amaranthine."

"No, no, I recognised you then too…"

"You probably remember Rylock dragging him kicking and screaming back to the Circle," Lorelei smiled.

"That's _right_,you were that escape artist apprentice Irving was always tearing his hair out over. I taught you spirit healing a few times, do you remember?"

"Of course. How could I forget that _magical bosom_?" Anders snorted. Lorelei cackled hysterically and almost fell off his lap again.

"Hilarious," Wynne frowned. "What's Rylock doing these days? I haven't heard of her in a while."

"Oh, I had to kill her," Lorelei sighed. "Oghren? Do you still have any of that home brew of yours?"

Oghren replied by belching loudly and falling face-first into his plate.

"I'll take that as a no."

"My dear I had hoped to talk with you more but I'm awfully tired. I must go to bed," Wynne yawned.

"Oh, but you'll spend the day with me tomorrow, won't you?" Lorelei implored.

"Of course. Will you walk me to my chamber, dear?"

Lorelei hopped up onto unsteady feet and took the mage's arm, more to support herself than to guide her. She stroked Anders' hair affectionately as she left, and he responded with a little purr of drunken gratitude.

When they reached the door to her guest room, Wynne stopped Lorelei by the arm.

"You're quite taken with each other, aren't you?"

"Mmm?" Lorelei looked up from the greaves she had been oiling, lost in another world. Her happiness felt boundless. Connor was alive. Isolde was alive. She had recruited her first troops in the name of the Grey Wardens, while keeping the mages and the Templars on side. She felt powerful, and strong, and free; and in love.

The mage looked almost regal, towering above her like that, her face lined and elegant as a queen's. The moonlight surrounded her in an ethereal glow, a soft light set in sharp contrast to the jagged Frostback Mountains looming in the distance. She was a curious one, Lorelei thought. So meditative and compassionate, yet brimming with a power she had not felt even from Morrigan. She had secrets, that was certain.

"I said, you're quite taken with each other, aren't you?" Wynne said softly.

Lorelei started a little. She glanced over to where Alistair sat by the fire, adding some questionable-looking meat to an already worrying stew. Granted, they had made no real effort to hide their relationship, but Wynne had not been travelling with them long and Lorelei was surprised that she had been so perceptive.

"You know about Alistair and me?" Lorelei said quietly, getting to her feet.

"It is difficult not to notice those doe-eyed looks he gives you. Especially when he thinks no-one is watching."

Lorelei blushed and smiled in spite of herself.

"It's almost too sweet for my tastes," Wynne continued. "and I'm an old lady who should be making lace hearts and fuzzy blankets with animal motifs."

"Well, you're not like the average old lady," Lorelei bit down on her lip, fairly sure the mage had not called her up to wish her congratulations.

"No. I won't be making socks with pom poms for you any time soon," a flicker of a smile passed over her face. "but that's hardly my point."

_Oh Maker, here we go._"I've noticed your blossoming relationship and I wanted to ask you where you thought it was going."

"Oh," Lorelei said, a little taken aback by her frankness.

"Alistair is a fine lad, skilled in battle," Wynne carried on before she could reply. "but quite inexperienced when it comes to affairs of the heart."

Lorelei decided it was the wrong time to mention that she had already rid him of his virginity.

"I would hate to see him get hurt," Wynne sighed.

"Are you saying I might hurt Alistair?" Lorelei frowned, more than a little offended by her suggestion. What did the crazy old witch know about them anyway?

"You are both Grey Wardens," the mage continued calmly. "and he is the son of a king. You have responsibilities which supersede your personal desires."

"I'm not just a Grey Warden," Lorelei said. "I'm a person too. I have emotions."

"Love is ultimately selfish. It demands that one be devoted to a single person, who may fully occupy one's mind and heart, to the exclusion of all else. A Grey Warden cannot afford to be selfish. You may be forced to make a choice between saving your love, and saving everyone else. And then what would you do?"

"I don't want to have to make that choice," Lorelei could hear how stupid and childish she sounded as she said it. _Wretched old woman. Bringing up the one thing she'd managed to keep tucked away safely in the back of her mind._ "Nothing is certain. Not in these times. You cannot take anything for granted. I want you to be aware of this," much as the mage's words inflamed her, Wynne's eyes were kind, beseeching. Upset as she was, Lorelei knew her intentions were good.

"Are you trying to get me to end this?" Lorelei felt tears pricking in her eyes and cursed herself for it.

"You may have to," Wynne replied sternly. "to save one or both of you unnecessary anguish later on."

"I'm not going to give up what we have, no matter what you say," Lorelei sniffed. Great. Some fearless leader, snivelling at the words of an old woman.

"I have given my advice," Wynne sighed. "Do with it what you will."

Wiping her streaming eyes on her arm, Lorelei slumped back down on the floor and began polishing her shield vigorously, muttering a string of curses under her breath. She heard Alistair's familiar heavy footfalls approaching her but she didn't look up, instead rubbing her chamois harder against the steel. Her thumb snagged on the metal and it cut open, sending blood dripping onto the Redcliffe insignia.

"Ow!" Lorelei cried.

"Maker, Lorelei, are you alright?" Alistair crouched down beside her, taking her injured hand to look at the damage. It was dwarfed between his rough palms.

"Yes, I'm fine," she shook her head.

"No, but you're crying. Shall I get Wynne to heal it for you?"

"No! No. I'm ok, honestly," she looked up at him. _Maker_.

"Are you sure?" he frowned.

"Yes," she smiled weakly. "Alistair… you know that I love you, don't you?"

"What?" he laughed, but there was concern in his eyes. "Of course I do."

"Good," she leaned forward on her knees and pulled him into an embrace, feeling his vast warmth consume her.

"I love you too, Lorelei. More than anything," he whispered into her ear.

"Wow," Lorelei laughed quietly. "De ja vu."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing," Lorelei squeezed the mage's hand. "I just feel like we've had this conversation before."

"Come to think of it I believe we have."

"Let me guess," Lorelei sighed. "Ultimately selfish, can't take anything for granted, unnecessary anguish?"

"Not this time," Wynne's smile was tinged with sadness. "Anders is a fine man. I'm happy you've found him. Truly. It's important that you can move on and love again. It's… what he would have wanted."

Lorelei tried to find the words to respond but they all threatened to twin themselves with tears. Eventually she settled for wrapping her arms around Wynne's back and hugging her tightly, drinking in that familiar scent of lavender and lyrium. By the time she broke the embrace Lorelei felt a little better.

"Goodnight, my dear," Wynne smiled and retired to her chambers.

Lorelei stopped in the hallway for a moment, leaning up against the cold stone. All of a sudden she had come over incredibly dizzy, and she breathed slowly and heavily, trying to force her head to right itself. Cold sweat sprang up on her face, and she swallowed back some animal cry that threatened to tear itself from her belly.

_It's what he would have wanted_.

A hand. Two hands, around her waist, turning her, pressing her back against the wall. Warm breath and lips and teeth on her neck. The tang of magic in the air, like the minutes before a lightening storm.

"You're shaking," Anders said quietly, the warm mist of his wine-soaked breath settling on her cold cheek.

Lorelei looked up into his face. It was a face she adored, those quick eyes and high cheekbones, that aquiline nose and golden stubble. No, she did not feel a betrayal, and her heart skipped with that recognition.

With a noise not far from a snarl she pulled his face to hers and kissed him, nipping at his bottom lip as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. He pushed his body hard against hers, forcing her back to the stone, taking her hands in his and pinning them against the wall.

Anders pulled away from her, his mouth still glistening with her saliva.

"Well, hello," he smiled wickedly.

"Hello yourself," she swallowed.

"What was all that about?"

"Nothing," she smiled. Her hands were still held above her head, and she laced her fingers between his. "I think I need you to take me to bed now."

Somehow the two of them managed to polish off even more of the estate's wine collection before they got down to 'tapping the midnight still', and by the time Lorelei collapsed into Anders' arms for post-coital petting she realised they were both horrendously drunk.

"You know," Anders hiccupped. "I _really _like you."

Lorelei snorted. "You sound like a teenager."

"No, listen," he whined, in that particular fashion of the very drunk trying to be taken seriously. "I mean it. I really like you, Lorelei."

"Well I really like you too," she snuggled in closer to him, stroking the strip of flaxen hair that tapered up to his navel.

"Where do you see us then? Like, in the future?" he asked, his head flopping involuntarily sideways.

"Well," she said. "I've got thirty years. And you'll be sticking around, what, like another month?"

"No," he wailed again. "I'll stay. The whole time. _Seriously_."

"Whatever you say," she laughed. "In that case… I don't know. Wandering around Thedas. Killing darkspawn. Shouting at the Queen."

Anders shifted uncomfortably and through her inebriated haze Lorelei got the impression that wasn't the answer he was looking for.

"Why?" she said gently. "Where do _you_ see us?"

"I don't know," he shrugged in a very bad impression of nonchalance.

"Come on," she poked his chest. "what are you thinking?"

"Well," he sighed. "I suppose I thought we'd get a little house somewhere… in the Alienage, if you like… we'd get married, so I could be Ferelden's first noble apostate and royally piss off the Templars… dozens of unruly children…"

"Can't have children, remember," Lorelei said quietly, her face flushing.

"Oh yeah," he wrinkled his nose. "Then we'll adopt those- whad'youcallem?- Blight Orphans, yeah, we'll adopt those."

"What, all of them?" she laughed.

"Yeah," he nodded. "All of them. Hundreds. An _army_."

"I can't believe you just admitted all that. Maker, you must be wasted," Lorelei giggled.

"Andraste's ass, did I really say all that out loud?"

"Yup," she sighed, moving so he wouldn't feel her heart slamming against her ribcage.

"Shit. Oh well," he leaned over and kissed her clumsily on the forehead. "Night."

"Goodnight," she whispered, reaching to blow out the candles.

Lorelei laid in the dark for a long time, suddenly feeling incredibly sober. Certainly he'd deny it in the morning, but Anders' words still sparked something in her. Since she had taken the title of Warden-Commander she hadn't given a thought to settling down, to domesticity. During the Blight that had always been her quiet goal, her little glimmer of hope at the end of a very long road.

But, she decided, she would give it no more thought for the time being. There was too much to do; Anora to deal with, Shianni's wedding to arrange, an expedition to Weisshaupt to plan... No, now was definitely not the time to think of such things. But eventually, when she had the time, she'd certainly take it into consideration. After all- it was not such a bad prospect.

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Sorry again for overload of fluff, I promise I'll get back to the proper plot soon. Thanks a lot to everyone who's still reading this crap, you're all troopers and I love you.


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